I went North Carolina House Hunting and all I got was this lousy....

Unfortunately, we found out this weekend that we have to move.  Soon.  I'm really bummed, mostly because of the unexpectedness of a new financial burden and the very short time frame.  I've had to put a lot of my Fiber Arts projects and business plans aside and focus on this very scary reality.


My BF is making light of it (the best he can) and sometimes, well, you get a reality check in odd ways.


Like this weekend.


We went to a buch of different places, and realized, "Hey living in P-town, Virginia wouldn't be too bad, if you live on one of the really cool Historic areas that hasn't been all gussied up yet like Ghent (in Norfolk Virginia)".


I'm wondering if there's anyway with my Fantasical Credit Score and limited money that I could get a house with a garage and a place that me and Bender feel safe walking around....


My dream home is a place that doesn't have a snooty Home Owners Association, your nearest neighbor won't hear your screams when the Manson Family comes knocking on your door, and I have to install a tracking device that syncs up with Bender's Micro-Chip in case he gets lost (you know, like those old people in Florida retirement homes?)...


Maybe a place like this....

Well, today we went driving, in hopes to find a few crazy, slightly run down versions of my dream home, that we could fix up and make shiny....


And we didn't find anything we could or would want to live in....Instead.... well....


I'm thinking about printing out T-shirts.  Like:


"I lost my house, the shirt off my back and my left passenger tire trying to buy a Home."

 

(Yes, flat tire, and no I didn't forget to turn the flash on my camera on.  It was getting dark.  Thank goodness I brought an actual Man [Male Classic, with Testosterone!] to change my tire/put on the spare.)

"I  competed in the ForeClosed Home Market Buy Out and all I won was a packet of Carolina FatBack."

(Yep, Tasty Carolina Fat Back Pork Skins.  Tasty down to the end of the first curly hide section.  Cus seriously, you can't eat too many of these without having a massive coronary right there on the spot.  And Remember, for every 1  and 7/8 ounce tiny bag, you must purchase two sweet teas or 1 Giant Gulp).

Or Maybe:

"I went Carolina House Hunting and all I got was this lousy Deer Leg."  I think this shirt would definitely sell better than those silly "I went Fishing in Outer Banks" T-shirts...

According to the BF: "We were turning off the highway and I almost ran over it. So of course I made Omi take pictures of it. An old couple stopped and asked if she needed help because she ran out of my car all quick. I started to yell all redneck at her. "Git my Deeer's Foot!, hurra woman, git it!"  The old couple was ready to save her.... "Git it! Git my Deeers foot!...ha.."   


Or from my perspective: "OMG that old couple thinks he kidnapped me from a nearby Meth Lab and my disheveled frantic fat butt is trying to crawl out of the car and run away from the weirdo as fast as she can... OMG, Edna can't you see she's holding up her cell phone to call the cops, we should help her!!!"


If worse comes to worst, at least we can live here:

I'll have to kick the birds out, and also let the Bank that owns the house the birds decided to nest in know we need more garage space.  Should probably do something with all those wires and EMF too...